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turquoisesea · Nov 17, 2009, 11:15 AM

I agree with Berries. Depression is lying to you again.

Quote:

I have way more trouble translating from English to French, so if I got a 14.5 on this assignment it's almost guaranteed to be quite a bit lower on the next one, which will be an English to French translation.

LIE! You're NOT guaranteed to get a worse grade. The assignment may be harder yes, but in some ways a harder assignment may provide a better grade. You'll be less likely to make the "little" mistakes, because you have to be thinking about the assignment more. More importantly you HAVEN'T DONE IT YET. You can still get an amazing grade on this one. It is not lost yet. If you feel really scared about it, you can find a CLASSMATE or TEACHER ASSISTENT to help you get a good grade. Think positive, you CAN get a good grade on this one

Quote:

My tutor probably thinks I'm an idiot or lazy or both for having overlooked such simple mistakes.

How do you know that? If I were a teacher looking at simple mistakes, I could think any number of thinks. I personally would not think "idiot". I might even be thinking "did I teach that well enough" or, "maybe this student has been overworked" or I might not even be judging the student at all, just grading papers! You don't know what a teacher is thinking. So don't feel bad for a PROBABLY.
EVERYONE has a bad assignment day. Don't be hard on yourself.

Quote:

I need to go home and call the doctor too, because I have to make an appointment to get my meds checked, and I left her phone number there. By the time I get home from class her office will be closed.

Maybe this is more important than class? How much of class would you miss if you ran back to get the number? Is she online? Maybe you could look her office up online and get the number there?

Quote:

Last year, my counsellor sent a letter to my department informing them that my attendance and the quality of my work might be compromised for medical reasons. She offered, and it took me a few weeks to accept. This year, I'd LOVE for her to send that letter, but I don't want to ask. If I ask, it means I'm lazy and just looking for an easy way out

hun, you're NOT lazy. You're sick. There's a huge difference. I have the flu right now, would you blame me for not getting out of bed and practicing? Especially if I need rest? You're sick too, and your meds aren't working right. You're not lazy, you're sick. Send the letter. You don't have to give up on attending classes - DON'T. Keep trying to go. But sending the letter can ease up some of your anxiety which may be stopping you from getting to class in the first place.

Quote:

I'm just not trying hard enough and I don't deserve any special treatment. I don't really deserve to go to this school, I have no idea why they even let someone like me in.

Lie. You do not decide who is deserving. I have struggled with this question in the past. Thing is, you don't have perspective on yourself right now. No one in a student position has the perspective the admission staff has. They saw something in you, in your application, in what you sent them. THEY are the ones that make the decision if you deserve it or not. And they say you DO. You're trying plenty hard, you're sick is all. You deserve "special" treatment, like I with the flue deserve flue meds *am taking them now* and someone with diabetes deserves insulin. You DO deserve this.

I know this is long. I am hoping that answering some of your post like this may enable you to see a little bit into the lies the depression is telling you right now.

Please realize, right now more than ever you need to take care of yourself. Remember the other day, when you were feeling GREAT? You were wondering about mood swings. Please remember, you can feel like this again. Please get yourself to your doctor.
Take care of yourself.