Muffy when I said it stops there I didn't mean literally his problems stop there ... he has to have check ups 6 monthly, for 5 years like you say, it's not just about the cuddling, I feel selfish enough already to be honest posting this because it makes me look hard and uncaring but I'm not

There has been so much going on this year, all bad for us both, repossession of the house, gran dying, going bankrupt, nearly deparating and then cancer and an ovary op earlier ....

I went to see my therapist and nearly got carted off to hospital, I dont remember a lot of the session as I dissociated quite badl and was out of control as I have been all day. My therapist assured me I'm not selfish, Tony goes into numb mode, freezes, I am the opposite. She explained why he acts the way he does and the way I do and I felt better. Please don't think I'm hard and unloving I'm the total opposite and today I cant take care of myself therefore I was mean when I wrote this post. You know, I've struggled through 4 weeks being a grown up and struggled to make sure everyone is ok really i have and Tony did say he wouldn't fight to save the marriage which upset me a lot. Today my therapist made sure I was grounded enough to drive home and gave me the cuddle i needed and is going to call tomorrow. I've done my best and I've looked after tony every day. I love him so much and it just hurts that sometimes he doesn't return that, but he is different to me is all. Seeing him go thru what he has just took it all out of me, out of all of us. I have been with him 23 years, i'll always love him and be scared for him, but I'm not an unkind person, just maybe a bit too needy specially today. It's all been too much is all.
((((((((((((muffy))))))))))

Sorry(((((( AAAA))))))) i didn't mean not to answer you ... he flatly refuses therapy, even though he says when I'm qualified I can sort his head out .... like you say that part is out of my hands. thank you for your support xx