As much as you may hate to hear it, getting on meds is the best thing to do. When I eventually stabilized, I remember sometimes missing the highs because I couldn't get that zest back in my life. I always realize though that the middle can produce some good feelings too, and it is risky to drop the meds and try to peak again. For me the lows always last a lot longer than the highs and it's worth using the meds (although I don't like it either). My doctor always called meds a "tool" to help me along, but not something to control me.

Of course, I could do without the dizziness and constipation, but hey, it's worth it.