I am very sorry you are going through this right now and it sounds like you are pretty low. My swings began in college as well and I started at a low point. I used to find refuge in my bed, but when I needed to get up the covers felt more like lead than cotton. So I would stay there, sleep sometimes up to 16 hours. The headaches were excruciating. It always felt like I had to hide and thought if I stayed alone long enough the emptiness would fade away. It doesn't - it gets worse.

The best thing I found to do was get out and do things no matter how terrible I felt. I started doing it alone - I went to the movies usually. It felt like I was out doing something with other people even though I went alone. There was anxiety, even waiting in line at the concession stand, but after a while it started to fade. At first I would watch the movie and have a hard time following it. It was very frustrating. After a few visits though, things slowly started to click and I was following along and forgetting about my negative thoughts. This helped me re-adapt to having a bit more of a social life and I could cope with being around friends and family once again.

It IS uncomfortable. I know it is a challenge, and hard to find any shred of motivation. But it will eventually help, even if it doesn't work the first time, the second, or third, eventually things will click again and some feeling will return. I was told once that the mind is like any other part of the body and it needs a little exercise just like the rest. Baby steps.