Ok. I've been doing quite well recently, pretty balanced. Have been more depressed recently (like about a week) and yet... I've joined here and posted quite a bit (guess there's quite a bit of pent up yapping -- I've really not had an outlet for these issues-- also I can't help but respond to people going through similar things because I don't want them to feel alone -- that sucks, and I'm all too familiar with it.)

But there's this thing. I've been emailing with someone. A guy. A lot. (Yes, I'm married, but it's been shite for a very long time--like a decade-- and we both know it.) It all started very innocently, and still is, though there's been a touch of flirtation lately. To be honest, it's fun. I really like it. I've come to realize that I really enjoy these exchanges. Mostly they are common interests, funny stuff, nothing hugely personal. (I'm near paranoid about personal info, so that's a good thing here.) But I'm feeling very confused. Reality check: I really don't know this guy! But, like for instance today, we've emailed back and forth like a dozen times! WTH? I guess it's just been so long since I've felt interesting to someone. I'm trying to keep that vulnerability in check. I would never act on it. So I say. Yet I've pulled out the map to see where his town is. I have zero interest in being in such a place. (I already want desperately to escape where I am, and it is a lot bigger.) But the exchanges are so fun! I have so little contact here IRL and it's just such a nice change of pace to talk with someone with some common interests, you know? Yet I fear that I may say too much, simply out of desperation to talk with someone. Anyone else have a similar circumstance?

More to the bipolar point, this seems very much like something I'd do when hypomanic. Yet I've been more on the depressed side. Am I mixed? Gah, I hate when I can't even determine where I am.