when i was 17 my mom passed. its been almost three years and i'm no closer to dealing with it now then i was then, mostly because i put it in the back of my mind to take care of my dad and the younger kids in the house. dad went off the deep end for awhile and the kids were absolute basket cases, and there i was the picture of strength and calm. i thought id deal with it when everybody else was better. some time later i realized i built this wall around the feelings about it and nothing was dealt with, but certain things trigger like a break in the wall and all these feelings come rushing in and it makes me wonder, is that all dealing is? just blocking it off like it never happened? i'm not sure anymore how to actually come to terms with it and i dont know if anyone here has a perspective on what exactly dealing is. then to make things worse, i was dating a guy for a couple years who was very abusive mentally and physically, i met him when my mom died. i finally mustered the strength to leave. the next day he called me right before taking his own life. thats just a whole new mix of greif and guilt and brought all the rest with my mom up to surface again. if anyone here has perspective on either situation i'd be so happy to hear how you feel, because im not sure exactly how i feel