Quote:
Originally Posted by zooropa
this thread was an eye opener for me, like so many are on this board especially. I realized that in the year I've been seeing my T for weekly sessions, I've never said to her "no, that's not what I meant". It's like I almost expect her to be right, because she's the T after all so she's the "expert" in the room, and I'm the "crazy" one. So I have never corrected her. I just let it go. Without even realizing it, until now. And that has led to a LOT of frustration afterwards on my part, feeling misunderstood & in some cases disbelieved when all along I could have made it so much easier by being more present in session and being willing to really TRY to explain my thoughts and feelings.
Because my T may be the one with who's the expert in THERAPY (having the education & 20 yrs of experience), but I'm the one who's the expert on ME, right?
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Whoo hoo, you get it!!!!!
My T has told me a number of times that he will try to sum up what I have just told him as it is a way to communicate to me that he has understand me. And he told me this gives me a chance to let him know he did not sum up quite right. It is not about questioning T's ability as an expert on therapy and human relations. Summing up is a skill that we are all supposed to learn in school (sometimes verbal, sometimes written). You listen or read a passage or book or lecture and then you write a paragraph summary. It's nothing special. Zooropa, T will be very glad if you help him tweak his summaries until they match what you think and feel. Sometimes this communication can really help the client clarify what they actually do mean. The client may give incomplete information or be unable to interpret events. So the T gives his "summary" the best shot he can, and may fill in blanks, make assumptions, etc. When the client hears the summary, he can usually tell if this is how things are with him or not, and can tell the T, "no I don't mean quite that." But if the client had to provide the summation/interpretion himself at the beginning, he might not have been able to do that. So the iterative cycles of summation and "correcting" can help the client better understand himself/herself.