Ftt had mentioned that. She said often people go up on their meds in the winter because of effects of less light during the day etc. I was busier today than I expected to be. I had all of these feelings again, sui and SI. I do not feel strong at all. When I get like this its just a matter of time. I am feeling like I have had enough of life and there is no end to feeling this way. I love my children and that stops me from doing anything.

I had so many feelings about my day and I dont know where or if I should post this. My 2 yo is refusing to go to her little school. She goes 2 days/week for 3 hours each day. I usually send her therapy day and another day during the week. She has been crying and clinging and saying she doesnt want to go. I know this school very well from my other children and I know the teachers. On top of that, my 2 yo LOVES it there, but now she just wants to snuggle all day with me. She loves to play at school and loves their toys and the playdough and the jungle gym, everything. For the past 2 weeks she has been refusing to leave me and crying if I mention her school. I took her over today (actually to straighten out my bill) and stayed with her in the class for the 3 hours, half the time she was crying for me to hold her, the other half she was having a great time. I felt like *I* wanted to cry. I love holding her and cuddling up to her, I just dont understand this giant step backward. Maybe the novelty has worn off or she has seen her siblings staying home (with the flu). She came home and only wanted to snuggle next to me with 2 dolls she loves. She even cries if I leave the room. Maybe its not a PC board issue, but its making me feel so worried about her all the time. I am dreaming about her being scared and crying for me. So....I paid the school for the next 2 weeks and I will decide if she will continue for the rest of the year or if they should give away her spot.

Thanks for listening-

Thanks for listening. Maybe her clinging and crying for mommy brings up other issues for me. Could be....