My session this week we were talking about the anger I feel about my ex-T. and how to express that. I say I feel rage, but you can't see it, I don't show it, you read about it in my poems, but why can't I let it go verbally? Showing anger is something I learned to repress as a child for if I showed it, I would get hurt even more or die like my brother because he didn't hide the anger. Not showing my emotions probably saved me from a lot of abuse.

I think part of it is that I don't want to yell because others around in other offices will hear. It is hard to let go if I know others will be listening or certainly hear it. I would feel very self conscience, kinda like crying too.

I think the other part of it is hearing anger never feels safe to me. I don't think even hearing myself being angry doesn't feel safe either.

How do the rest of you express anger in the T's office? Do any of you yell or cry loudly? Do any of you feel like you have to be reserved because you are within earshot of many people?