Sometimes I get so tired of trying, to hold on to goodness, make and keep friends, relate to people I have contact with daily and I usually wind up doing everything alone. I am a loner, but I can't figure out why I'm the ugly person left out. I try new things, go new places, but I'm usually alone. Most time I'm OK with it but as I get older I've noticed my attachments are to my garden, enjoying my Saturday morning NPR shows or watching home improvement shows. I'd like to learn how to connect with positive results. It's almost as if I am as invisible as I believe myself to be when I was very young.