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Nov 18, 2009, 11:29 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by googley
Exotic-
While it was a stressful experience, it was also healing in that I was able to learn that I wasn't going to lose control and I would come back to myself even when I was really really angry.
I think that is one of my fears, that somehow I would explode or lose myself. But what I am just wondering, I think it just occurred to me that I have this same fear in expressing grief too. Makes me wonder how they are connected...
As for the noise, I didn't have to worry about it with that T, as I was the only one in the small office being seen at that time. But I do think it would inhibit me from being really loud. As for crying I spent a lot of time as a kid teaching myself to cry silently so sound isn't an issue.
Learning to cry silently, that just breaks my heart that you had to do that as a child. 
Have you talked to your T about expressing anger? We were able to talk about it and it made me feel safer with being angry. |
Yup this is the topic of this week since I am seeing her twice this week,which is very rare, but she is off next week. I asked her if she could handle my anger if it really came out, but what I think I was really asking was can "I" handle my anger. But what is weird I am not sure I know how to express anger other than through my writing. (which she said is a good form, I used to play my trumpet as loud as a I could as a child so I couldn't hear the stuff happening to my brother. She said that was a healthy way.
The thing we talked about before was that since emotions were not allowed in my house, especially anger, I never learned how to express it. I have to learn how to do that and learn all the other emotions too. It is weird that I have been able to teach my kids this stuff, but I am just afraid of letting out my anger. I told my T it is as big as the universe, can she handle that? She said yes, I have seen lots of angry people in her practice and she will be okay. 
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