((((((((((((((kiya))))))))))))))))))

How strange - I went to bed thinking about you last night, wondering how you are doing...

It sounds like T cares and is committed to continuing to work with you...and she wants to ADD someone to your team. I know that even that can feel really yucky - my T mentioned a support group ONCE for women who shared some of my experiences, and it totally freaked me out and I asked him to never mention it again. Although, at this point in my healing, I think I would like it... at the time, it sounded scary, and like having to tell my story again, and like I was "too much" for T. Being "too much" is one of my big fears.

I wish I had some words of widsom to soothe you. I will say that from the outside looking in, it seems like T *is* hearing you, DID is a big deal and it takes a long time to heal. And it sounds like T knows her own limitations and wants to do what it takes to help you get better. It doesn't mean you are doing a bad job, or that your issues are too big, or any other bad thing. It means that T cares and really, really wants you - ALL of you - to get the help that you need. Along WITH T.

Sometimes, if I let myself go there, I have moments of "OMG, I have DID" and "OMG, I can't believe that those things happened to me"...like, I just want to have had a normal childhood, and I just want to be healed and whole, and I don't want to do all of this WORK. I wonder if this is one of those moments for you? It just seems overwhelming and discouraging and unfair sometimes. And it's okay to stop and see that and feel that...and then we keep moving forward. Healing has moments of peace and beauty...and moments of "wow, this just SUCKS". Maybe this is one of the "this sucks" moments.

Sending lots and lots and lots of and . PM me if you need to, okay??