My children have lived with a depressed mother and father their whole lives (bipolar depression actually). My husband and I have been in therapy for several years. Our therapist kept asking about how the kids were doing. He says, it is pretty inevitable that children who are exposed long-term to parents with mental illness will have some sort of issues surrounding that experience. He isn't saying its our fault. It just is what it is.

Our oldest son became depressed last spring. His grades slipped. He lost all motivation. Fortunately, he recognized the signs in himself and asked us for help. He ended up hospitalized during the summer while he was stabilized. He's doing well now, but it certainly gave us a scare.

You may just need to insist that he see a therapist. Explain that you are concerned with what you are seeing. That you may be wrong, but it won't hurt to check it out. Don't second guess yourself. We were fortunate to get our son help quickly, and even then we almost lost him. Don't wait.