I am one of those mothers who cannot experience love...not because I want to but because of what I went through as a child...my mother not being able to love me and abandoning me when I was 2 yrs old. and then being sexually abused by my brother and uncles and cousins...ugh....since then I have kept people at arms length even my own kids...when they say they love me it does nothing for me and when they hug me it feels so unnatural..I HATE being like this...but my T is working on it with me...when my kids try to show me affection I tend to go elsewhere in my mind...but he is teaching me how to stay in the moment and that is so hard...I feel sooooo awful for being like this....sorry Nightdream that you had to deal with a mom like me....