Quote:
Originally Posted by Merlin
My parents were depressed when I was growing up. I believe they did the best job they were able to do. I believe they did many things right, but I also believe they did things wrong. Their parenting directly affected me. Maybe they bear no responsibility for their parenting being imperfect, but that doesn't change the fact that it was and that influenced my upbringing, my view of the world, my coping skills. Do I blame them? It really depends on how you define guilt. In criminal charges there are two things that need to be proven. Actus Reas (guilty act) and mens rea (guilty mind.) There is no way my parents met the second criteria, but that doesn't mean they didn't the first. I have bipolar and I think that it was partially caused by my parents parenting. It was partially caused by how I was treated by my sibling and my peers. It was partially caused by my action or lack of action and my thought patterns. And it was partially caused by genetics. It was a 'perfect storm.' I think it is inappropriate to attribute it all to genetics or all to parenting.
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http://psychcentral.com/lib/2007/who...olar-disorder/
Genetics and one’s family history appear to both have some influence over the likelihood of being diagnosed with bipolar disorder. Bipolar disorder is more common in those who have a sibling or parent with the illness and in families having several generations affected with mood disorders.
being the perfect storm as you say does not make it you parent fault in any way it makes them a victom of cercumstance bad luck thay did not ask for the genetic code to give you a higher than normal risk of getting bi-polar and with out that higher risk there is nothing to say you would have bi-polar now if you were in a family with absulotly NO history of mental illness and you were the first to become ill with it would be more likly that your family caused it.....I dont know your exact life history per say but if you beleave your parent abused you than then I would say thay are proberly partly the reason YES because thay were neglectfull to be abusive to you but if it was case of bad events that were out of you parants control then in NO way could you say with its was partly your parent fault.....
Example I was raised with a obsessive mum who was controling over me and I beleaive she hah and still has OCD now while I beleaive she has a mental illness I know she has chose to ignore her problems and still raise us the way her OCD told her to raise us...............I on the other hand have gone out of my way to make sure my kids dont see my symtoms I dont control them I dont expect them to follow the rules of my OCD thought thay have never seen my anxiety never seen me rock never seen me have a panic attack yes they have seen my depression but I always got help I went out of my way to insure I got better as fast as I could and never neglected my kids I was even prepared to risk loosing my kids by contacting welfare telling them I did not feel I was able to look after my kids if I did not get extra help right now they deemed me to be a fit parent and gave me in house respite carers............My mum is still bad for my mental statis I had to tell her to back off and stay away from me and my kids if she could not find positive things to say to me..........
I do beleaive to some degree that my mum is partly responicable for my illnesses but not because she has depression and I think OCD but because even now that I'm adult she refuses to accept that her way is harmfull to my mental health and she has never seem to want help nor accept help....I dont hate that my mum was in bed LOTS I dont hate that my mum was unable to do things for me I dont hate that she obsessive what I can not forgive is that she was to stubborn for her childrens welbeing.....My OCD has plenty of control over me but if was to be verbally abusive to my kids I would hope some one would take my kids from me if I did not change my behaviour. I in know way say that mental illness is the reason my mum could not be a nice mum.......it would be a very sad thing if you condemed your parents for giving you a mental illness if there was no intent and no abuse eg alcohole....drugs.....yelling screaming all the time.......name calling.........physical abuse like hitting.......ect ect if it was unforseen circumstance I would hope you could find a way to forgive them and not blame them for it cause it just seem very unfair from my perpective.....