Hi,
This could be a trigger for some...so please take care of yourself. I'm sorry if it is...just needed some help.
So I have been working on not SI'ing with a blade and have not used one in about 5 months. The last time things got really bad was when my T's spouse died from cancer and I freaked - not sure about what but after but I ended up needing about 15 stitches.
I really needed to go in today and got a call this morning saying T's brother was dying and needed to cancel.
There is a lot going on and I have been in pretty bad panic. I know I must really self centered and I am but right now I am pretty scared and just want to get through this w/o cutting, purging or taking too many meds.
I feel really horrible for T and sent an email sending my condolences - I feel like a monster b/c I am thinking about myself, I know that is so wrong.
Between the urges to cut and the panic I am freaked.
 Thanks for reading...any thoughts on how to distract myself are very welcomed.
Also with all the unstructured time coming up it's making me even more nervous...
Last edited by Christina86; Nov 22, 2009 at 03:15 AM.
Reason: added trigger icon
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