It is this very thing - that BPD is NOT separate from me - that is the most difficult to accept. I've tried to accept the idea that BPD is a condition (of sorts) that I have, but that is not true. It is WHO I AM. I cannot separate my 'being' from it. I cannot help but define myself by it and be defined by it by others, much like sociopaths cannot separate their being from who/what they are. If I were merely suffering from, say, depression, then a separation of personality could be made.

I really don't know where I am going with this, but I feel it is IMPERATIVE to accept the fact that there is no "cure" or there is no pill that I can take that will help. I only have the choice of seeing myself in a very deep, no-holds-barred honest way in order to overcome the tragic behaviours I will ultimately display over and over.

This takes ALOT of energy, time, self-analyzing (with AND without outside help), forgiveness, reparation to those I have hurt, and on and on.

I am sometimes amazed at the strength it takes to continue on! So, therefore, I am strong! Very strong! Another upside!!!