I was on medication before but for years they could never find anything that worked well for me and it got really frustrating. I don't have insurance now and don't make enough money to afford the lengthy process that it becomes finding something that works anyhow...plus, I really enjoy the highs. I'd really miss them a lot. I look forward to them even though I have no attention span and I spend a lot and that sometimes causes problems. I take a lot of risks but I usually end up being responsible enough about it. I cry myself to sleep at night for a week after it ends because I feel like I'm losing myself and I know it'll be a while before she returns...the lows are what really get me. The irritability is nearly unbearable. My productivity is non-existant. I've taken anger management classes before but I'm in so much of a fog when I'm down that I can't even process and identify the feeling before I act on it. It's really debilitating...
Thank you for the links to those resources, I'll definitely take a look at them as soon as I get a chance.