I'm 26. I'm older then you and an "adult" but maybe my age relative to you will help, since that was me when I was your age. Times like those were fun and cool, and I just knew everyone thought I was soooo cool to be boozing and drugging with older guys, especially if I "scored" with a hot one. Well, those people are long gone, so does it really matter how cool they thought I was? And those guys I "scored" with just got to add me to their list. They loved "taking care of me" when I was wasted, and boy did I "take care of them" only to be known as a slut later on, and getting raped in the process. As for eskie pointing out the freudian slip of the "sleeping bad" thing, take that to heart. Look at what you write, because honesty comes out when we write. One of my "mentors" shall we call her, pointed out a slip I made in some of my writing, which pointed out how I really felt about the issue. You knew it was bad, and it would have gotten worse had your mother not called the cops. I don't think you came here to brag about your party. I think you posted this so we'd all tell you what you know deep down - that you're a good kid and you have potential for a great life. Don't let some drunken nights kill your future. I almost did. And now I'm repairing the damage of all those "cool" nights. The fact that you hugged your mom and said you're sorry shows you still have some heart. Don't break hers. Learn from this experience and know how to respect your boundries in the future by saying NO. It doesn't make you uncool. It saves your life. Don't wait until you're 26 to start making the right decisions. It gets much harder when you're my age to repair the damage.

Love you kid, stay true to yourself and trust your gut.

~Rayna