Hi. I agree with you. That's why I stayed even a bit longer than you. I kept thinking it wasn't his fault, and that he didn't mean it. I thought the same way, that if I could just give him the love and support his family hadn't given him that he would be healed. He wasn't. Instead things started to escalate in the end. I got to the point of thinking that the best thing I could do was keep my mouth shut and just pretend not to be there. The combination of that and having one of my daughters shush me for defending myself finally got me to start wondering what I was putting up with and why. It wasn't until I started therapy however that I actually realized it had a name. I was sure from the start that I hadn't explained things right when my T called it abuse. I spent many sessions trying to reframe the different incidents we'd discussed, but he just kept saying the same thing, "yes, that's called abuse." It finally sunk in. My husband walked out a year ago last May. We finally divorced this spring. He still thinks we might get back together, and also keeps talking about how he has changed. I know he thinks he has, but he's treating my daughters exactly the way he used to treat me, so I know he hasn't actually changed. I still question myself at times anyway. Did I try hard enough in the marriage? Did I really give him a chance to change? Is there a way I could have worked things out with him? When I'm thinking logically I know the answers to those questions, but sometimes when I'm feeling sad and down I'm not so sure I was fair to him.