The first thing that clues me in is the "manic laugh." A family friend who is Bipolar 1 always had this weird laugh. It was kinda scary when I realized I was starting to laugh like that, too. I get more talkative, and speedier talking. I want to do things and change the world. I also get very tense, and snap easily at my kids or my husband. I lose my sense of short term time. Long term time is always distorted. My worst rages were when I was a teen, before I was ever diagnosed or medicated. I used to internalize them, tho. Parental discipline made me too afraid to ever lash out or cause any kind of damage to objects. I would rub myself raw with my hairbrush, or scald my feet in the hottest water I could, or crumple and shred paper. Once I threw some cups when my parents weren't home, but they were plastic, and right afterwards I ran and picked them up because I was afraid to have shown such bad behavior. I would stuff the rage down inside so tightly that I literally couldn't speak, could barely breathe, and felt real pain like I was going to explode.