My dad passed away 4 weeks ago, I understand your pain. Please know that he did know how much you loved him, and he is watching over you now, talk to him. I miss my dad so much but I know he couldnt suffer anymore, he is with God now and the angels. We were all with him when he passed, all his children (6) and his wife of 56 years, we all stayed with him until he passed, 12 hours in his room, he is at peace now. Take care of yourself and take one day at a time.... he will always be in your heart