I feel like I'm out there, lost in thought and staring into the beyond.... my meds are great, they let me think better, my thoughts are not as clouded as before.... Yet, I feel strange, I'm not feeling bad or anything but I have this really strong urge to want to stab a knife through the palm of my hand.... I even have a clear mental image if me doing it, I'm not afraid of doing it either.... I just want to look at it, dripping with blood as I slowly pull it out, lick the blood of the knife.... sounds almost as good as watching a horror movie only I get to direct it. I wonder if anyone else has had thoughts like this, I don't know.... I feel like I'm not here, not in my body, it feels great.... I gotta go.