Quote:
Originally Posted by Thimble
And given this, I felt like it was wrong for me to continue in therapy. I wanted to go because I wanted something to be there every week, .... But I didn't want to do the exercises that teach you how to cope/feel better....
But now I have nothing and am alone. With no focal point to carry me from one week to the next. And with no hope for anything to change - when I went to therapy, there was always that (albeit very tiny and remote) hope that maybe, maybe something would happen in therapy that would make a difference.
But if I don't want to change, if I don't want to make any effort to be happy, am I not just wasting the therapist's time? Just paying for someone to essentially just sit and "be with me" for one hour a week - so for that one hour I don't have to be alone? Wouldn't the money spent on therapy do more good being given to a charity, and the therapist's time be better spent helping someone that did want to change? Is it not just an act of selfishness to go to therapy when you don't want to change?
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Paying for hope and to have a focal point is definitely
not selfish. Indeed, there are some therapists who believe that hope is, at least for some clients, one of the most important thing they can give.
Possibly this forum can help give you some hope and a focal point.
It sounds like you are working with a cognitive-behavioral therapist, and that that is not a good match for you. Possibly a client-centered or interpersonal or client-directed (if you can find one) therapist would be a better fit for you.
Also, another perspective that has often been helpful for me, is to think in terms of what I need to do, not in terms of what I do or don't want to do. (I don't mean to imply that what the therapist asks you to do is necessarily what you need -- I believe that therapists are sometimes misguided.)