I have have money obsessione and felt the need to not waste money for fesr of having my kids taken away from and I ruined a 17 year friend over 30cent because at the time it felt like by her asking me to paying 30 cent extra on the phone bill was like asking me to starve my kids my thoughts kinda go like ........Cant waste money if I waste money I wont have enough to bye milk and bread if I cant bye milk and bread then I wont be able to feed my kids if I cant feed my kids then I'm am a bad mum so I'll have my kids taken from me if I get my kids taken from I go insane and be looked up in a padded cell...... which caused me fight verbally with people or as I call it debate I would aruge every detail of what the other person said and I felt this intence need to say everything in my (I call that rar like the sound of a lion roar)I could not NOT say everything I have ever been obsessing about to with what eva topic came up......I gave people the impression that I'm was insane with some of things that come out of my head cause at the time thay felt real in MY head even thoe I knew at the time that other people would not get my point of view. I had major society obsession and if told to just "deal with life" I would become so scared that life would make me insane that I would RAR at people who said it and tell them I would rarther be dead or on a secret iland with no laws or rules no shops or big companies just me and my kids and partner and fresh grown food with solar power and rain water just not expectation of living life the way society expects or demands from us.........

I ruined another friend ship because I could not stop obsessing about the illegal issues that I would hear she was doing mainly cheating with welfare. I obsessed for years till I could no longer stop my self from dobbing her in just tring to make it stop in screaming at me but when dobbing her in did not make the obsession stop I started feeling the need the tell her what I did and ended up telling her what I did and there fore ruining the friends ship (if there eva was one with her)........

I'm scared of letting my self talk to people in case I RAR or say some thing that make people think or even call me insane.....I make friends with people that seem to need help my last 2 attemps at friendship have end up with me trying to help them not loose there kids because thay cant keep there house clean and other things as well......One friendship ended after the controlling boy friend threaten to hurt me and became extreamly abusive while at there house after I help my friend clean up her house and was talking to her about maybe going shopping the shopping thing made him so angry he did the shopping not her yer he loved to by lots of beer with the shoping money and she did not even seem to have deoderant........The next one the same kind of thing I was helping her clean her house a lot we spent almost every day together doing something eg park or lunch or food shopping. Again I did not see the trigger coming this time it ended up with me being asulted in my own home after he smashed his way in to get to me. I still have one friend that has a controlling boy friend and she a good friend but I need to protect my self from upsetting her boyfriend I dont want to go threw anything like what happened the last 2 times... I dont have a controlling boy friend my partner is the most enjoyable person to be around most of the time he's not perfect he has his computer obsession but over all he trys to be a nice person and partner and DAD. Its kinda like the woman who gets the bad boyfriends all the time but with me I attract or notice the friends that need I feell need saving and try I dont feel like i becomeing there friend to protect them or even help them it just happens so fast before I know it I've done it again yet The friends I have made have all been nice and I never knew there boy friends were controlling to months after become there friend and never even suspected that were capable of violance or even extream anger till it happen....I dont want to make more friends till I know I can protect my self or better still pick ones thay dont need saving oe ones that have contolling boyfriends.