In the same book I wrote about yesterday.

"Women's Inhumanity to Women"
I am paraphrasing some of the high lights of the article.

"It says about women" the appearance of passive goodness is deceiving."

"Often unfair maidens can be ferociously cruel: " The myth is that men are aggressive and competent and women are soft, small, nice, compassionate, more moral, and more relational."

"When women talk, they tend to smile and nod and gaze and listen. Often we mistake that for kindness and compassion"

"Many evolve into women who, while depending in each other for emotional support, similarly judge each other harshly, back-stab, punish nonconformity with abandonment, compete against each other but not against men, and undermine their peers within workplace, community, and even family"

"sometimes begrudge others good fortune that they sabotage"

"girls learn that there is power in choosing and excluding and that gossip is the currency of the classroom."

"Queen Bee" is the girl that can silence you with a look"
and is good at getting her court of wannabes to shun and disparage those not in the circle."

"The " banker" collects information on other girls and then dipenses it at very strategic times."

"Learn to curb their words and recast themselves to please others.
"She knows she has to not be herself if she wants other people to value her and include her."

One teen writes
"If I were to say what I was feeling and thinking, no one would want to be with me. My voice would be too loud."

" And the loss of self spawns backbiting.

" They feel they can't say what they know, so they tend to become silent or outraged"

"Quiet and mean."

"Women are backhanded because they haven't been taught it's OK to be angry."

"When girls are angry they need theraphy."
"It leads to slander, taunting,and shunning."

"When its mother\ daughter those people aren't going to outgrow it."

"65 % of women often resent or are jealous of powerful women."

"Women find fault in women that they would praise or not notice in men."

"Freindships falter"

"Because they invest so much"
"Women have a real need to be close to other women."

To get close you have to make yourself vulnerable. You talk,"
Sharing secrets and fears creates intimacy and a support system that can , in bad times be turned into a weapon"

U.S. News and World Report. May 20,2002 issue