i have had this experience, but they have been one-off occassions and i've been quite vocal about it the next session! so i can't say that it's ever been a pattern for me. given that you've said your problem areas lie in assertiveness, i wonder if you ever expressed your concern to your therapist? one thing that strikes me is that you are well read and can write well, that could be a possibility for you expressing yourself early in the therapeutic process. certainly it is what i used to do, many years ago .

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I don't want to castigate individual therapists -- I think the problem is largely with the system. For example, training is often inadequate, too much one-size-fits-all and too much "therapist knows it all," with not enough emphasis on listening skills and flexibility. There are also not enough mechanisms for helping the client find a good client-therapist fit, and there are not adequate mechanisms for weeding out the bad eggs.

i've found that the "therapist as undeniable expert" attitude is more prevalent in older therapists - those who were trained about 20ish years ago. a lot has changed in training since then, particularly the idea that we know anything much about mental disorders. my first (and thus far, only) course in psychology in which we focussed on counselling skills only gave us exposure to listening and rephrasing. 13 whole weeks of listening to a (mock) client and reflecting what they had said back to them. our textbook was "the skilled helper" by egan, which was pretty atheoretical in its approach as far as textbooks go.