Welcome to the board.

You have to give yourself time to grieve the loss of the idea of who you were before this diagnosis, and time to heal. I was diagnosed this year and I am going through med changes trying to find what works best for me. It will take a while, but I know that stability will come.

I am married and have children. I had children before I knew I had bipolar. Your past sounds a lot like mine with the exception of THC. I also never had the discipline to go for my MA. I drank in college, and I think I spent a manic year drinking too much and then came to my senses when I wasn't having fun any more.

Just because you have bipolar doesn't mean that you will pass it on to your children. It is a greater risk, but not a guarantee. I have a hard time with relationships. I was divorced once and almost ruined this marriage before I got help.

It will take time, but you can rebuild your life and find your dreams. Don't try to rush it.