Most people do feel a heavy emotion regarding certain things and feel they must tell the world to accept it, get over it an succeed in life.

Much later as my life changed did I realize why I had such a heavy opinion. It was that my own subconsciene I found things in them that were things in me that I disliked.
That was something that I had to re-learn to not judge again.
That I was not walking in their shoes, nor experienced their life's lessons, etc.

Denial was not only causing my life to be stagnate - I felt halted. Until I finally accepted the diagnosis, then I was able to gentle take the steps to control it.

Of course I was upset, even angry - But it was at myself. I had such high expectations of myself that this could just not be. Being dianosised as a Bipolar. How insulting. I'm not crazy.

Bipolar is one of many serious diagnosis's. It is difficult to stabilize the chemicals: Neurons and transmitters in the brain, not function properly.

Often an Anita-Depression, Anti-Anxiety and a mood stabilizer are the medications used for the depression and manic (or simple the up and down mood swings (for no reason)

Denial acceptance of the diagnosis can be divistating. Shocking. I could not comprehend it. I saw it as a weakness. It must mean I'm crazy!

You are not crazy

It is very difficult to accept what they in the professionally could know my ailment.

I remember questioning others in a group I was attending for this disorder. I question myself Am I like that, do I do that, do I give off that behavior or impression? I noticed in the group there were many types of personalities and life styles.

In the very beginning I was 30, high class career, quite a some of money per year, lived in a plush society. Kept up with the Jones, per say.

But, something was off - me. My primary Doctor suggested I take Prozac. I actually cried and said 'that means I crazy!' I hid the fact that I was on medication for a chemical imbalance.

Investigation answered a lot of my question's yet along the way there were mord the reasons I had. But that was okay, because I needed to to all about medication and systems of bipolar.

When I began the medication, I was stunned - I felt a complete mental clearness. I was able to forces. Some my thinking and behaviors were functioning something I hadn't felt before. And it was good

While investigating the diagnosis and the medication - I found that the diagnosis is very interesting. Not something I would chose to have nor excited that I did have. But it made sense, I could sense the clarity

Part of what I learned is that it not a sickness, rather it a chemical in the brain that was missing, causing the neurons and transmitters to move erratically

Privacy and embarrassment was still a concern, but this is my business to share or whatever I decided to do with the information. What I did know is that the medication was working. I defiantly knew that!

As for the past, things that occurred in my life things that I was not in control of or had no control over, yet it did effect me, yet I covered it with a mask as if I had everything in perfect control.

I finally decided to try a therapist. That perhaps there were subconsciene things I'd never looked at, in fact blocked, and along the way had been told to block them and just get on with life.

Working with a therapist, that I felt comfortable with, allowed me to slowly recall situations in my childhood up to my adulthood that I never knew were really affecting me, my thoughts, the way I thought about things and accept the things of myself.

I now knew what it was, and that under therapy and medication I could relieve things that have un-knowingly stunted my being.

I knew that it was some new, but something interesting to know about myself and know that I could work on controlling it.

I no longer denied, nor stuffed it under a rug, nor did I judge others for the personal issue - as never walked in their shoes... besides I had enough of my own to deal with.

GOD IS GOOD