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I have had therapists state what you guys have said - that is ok for me just to go - that I don't have to feel obligated to make all these changes to justify being there - that it will come with time, when I'm ready....but then they turn around and DO want me to try to do things (that I can't do) and to change and aim for things and take steps towards the future...and pressure me. When all I want to do is make it through today. And then tomorrow. And then the next. I don't have long term goals because I just want to make it through each long day that lasts forever.
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When I read this it sounded to me like you were feeling overwhelmed with the work. Like you said, pressured. Tell your T that it's too much. That you are just trying to make it through the day. That you need to step back, slow down and just work on something small. Even if that means just getting out of bed and getting dressed today. Work on just that. Focus on today.
When I first started therapy I really didn't want to be there. And I told my T that. Told him that I can't change stuff, it doesn't matter blah, blah, blah... One day my T asked me what am I doing besides taking my meds regularly to feel better. I got a bit irritated. (I thought he was asking me if I was self medicating again) He then asked what are you doing for YOU. Am I doing something, anything just for me. It was at this moment I realized that I wanted to get better because I blurted out, "I am here with you". He said "exactly". "You are here with me, even though it takes all you've got to just to sit on that couch, you are here with me."
Each time you go to your session you are working on you. You are doing something just for you. It may not seem like much to you, but the way I see it, that in itself is huge! Therapy isn't easy. And you may feel like you're wasting time or money but you aren't. YOU are worth every last penny.