Hi WonderingMary. I could see why you might think that therapy might not help people over 35, or just older people in general. As people get older, many do become more set in their ways and in their attitudes. But it seems strange to me that it would be written in a book about therputic change!

My experience has been, with myself and having been in group therapy with people that were mid-life and older, is that when you want change, you seek it. I began therapy at 19, but wasnt ready for the deeper things I needed to do until I was much older. I continued in individual and group from that time until I was 34. And the truth is, although I did a lot of good work and changed a lot, I couldnt go as deep as I am (trying) to go today. I took a 15 year break from therapy and began again about 1 1/2 yrs ago. Now, I didnt BEGIN as an adult, but I wasnt able to do as much work as I am now as an adult. Maybe the groundwork was laid when I was young. Or maybe I was functioning pretty well, or well enough, had achieved some goals (like getting married and having children) and didnt feel the need to do more work.

But I needed more help. My life was screaming for it. And I do more and better work in therapy now than I did then. I think as a young person, I didnt have the same perspective that life experience gave me. The bigger picture is clearer. What matters and what doesnt it clearer. Even though I did hard work then, looking back, its as if I was in some kind of fog, scratching the surface and unable to let go of my fear of going into the really hard places.

So, now, that said, Im surprised that a book about theraputic change would state that as we get older and more experienced we are less likely to change and grow and benefit from therapy. Maybe the author imagines that people are more open to another way of thinking and seeing things while they are under 35. It may be true on some level, but in my case, I was somewhat less able to be open to what therapy had to offer while young than I am now.