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I understand that I need to talk to people. I can't just hide my feelings and pains, pretend like I am doing fine.
So, I called my sister who understand me the most (within my family)
she has changed... she used to just listen but she question me, trying to fix all the problems over the phone. keep asking what's wrong, why?
All I need was for her to listen...
She told me to go to the church. Course I lied to her.
Yes, I will go to the church and I hung up the phone.
Then all the other sisters have been calling me to see how I am doing.
I never returned their calls... because I have to tell them I am doing fine.
to make sure they don't worry about me.
if I start talking about sad stuff, They either denies or almost interrogate me.
I am supposed to have the most warm support from my own family and they can't do that for me.
This is Y I am constantly feeling emptiness... that no one would listen even just for once or try to understand...
it's just so sad...
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