Shaymus, I think I can relate to your not wanting to relate... but I work in the service industry, and apparently that's a really good way to start disliking other people. Especially tourists in large groups.

I think there's a big difference, tho, between not being around other people because you just don't want to be around them, and avoiding people because you are afraid to be around them even though you want the interaction. We live in a society where we as individuals actually don't have to have large close-knit communities. Most people don't live w/extended families anymore (thank the Gods! I couldn't live w/my in-laws for 5 minutes), children aren't often forced into caring for elderly or ailing parents... We have different grocery clerks every time we go to the grocery store - and not just because we go to three or four different ones depending on what side of the street we're on. I work with 90 people, only 15 of whom I see on a daily basis. It's not like it was even 20 years or so ago when every business acquaintance - your banker, your grocer, your insurance agent, etc. knew you by sight.

I used to be very sociable when I was a teenager, but as married life & work have taken over my social life, I've become more reclusive. I've gotten to the point where I don't like people touching me unless they're a doctor (dentists are still on the don't-like list, as are hair dressers), or sometimes my husband. I have become quieter & more withdrawn as I mostly don't feel like I have anything worthwhile to contribute to conversations, and the conversations that float around me at work are mostly younger women talking about make-up, men & their kids (ugh). I avoid my family & my in-laws like the plague. A lot of time I feel like I just don't have the energy to keep up with anyone around me, and most of my real-life friends have kids now, which I really can't stand to be around.

But, I do have pen-pals & the internet. With pen-pals, I can take six months to write back if I need to. They complain, but they understand - and there's not much they can do if they don't understand. And w/the internet, I can pick & choose what message boards or chats to get involved with. If I feel I can contribute I will, but I'm not forced into conversations that I'm uncomfortable with, or unknowledgeable about.

I know I need to find another therapist & have another go at it, tho, because it's getting harder & harder for me to be around milling groups of humans, like at a mall or concert or even my job. I feel like I'm gonna come out of my skin & get all paranoid & creepy feeling, which isn't normal even for me.