i definitely think finding a t or talking to the one you have is a good idea. i don't think telling Dean to 'get over' the girl is going to help. after all, it's much easier said than done. maybe instead of being upset with him you could try talking to him about what he's thinking and feeling... have him write it out, or paint or draw or something creative and energy expending to help him get it out. keep in mind that Dean is using physical pain to deal with his very real emotional pain...perhaps talking to him about what's really underneath this desire to hurt himself and you, then you will be able to help him out of it and thus stop the si. good luck to both you and dean. if you ever want to talk, feel free to PM me.

-shadowdancer