Hey guys, feeling pretty low now a days. Everything is just getting too much to handle. I have now gone back to crying, lying in my bed, not eating, not washing, not even brushing my teeth or hair. I just don't have the energy or motivation to do these things when I don't have to. My ocd is slightly worst as I am now thinking of germs etc.

My work has a counselling service but there is a problem with that, that my manager is looking into. The leaflet my doc gave me on counselling has a 2-3 month waiting list. I can not afford to go private etc hence looking into free counselling.

I am really unhappy, my mates are worried too. I am off for 2 days and I have stuff planned for my days off. Not every single minute of the day but some of the time. My mates and family are worried incase I retreat into my shell of stated above no motivation or get up and go feeling.

I am back at the Doctor's on Thursday and I will ask I think for at least a week's line. My boss and my best mate are worried incase I delve deeper into depression but I just need a time out. I know myself I am capable of going back to my old roots. But I
just have no more energy left.

Having nightmares and dreams about my past and possible things ie my funeral. Just the way it would go and who would be there and what my folks and siblings would think, say, feel and do

I just don't know anymore
I am wanting to take time off work but I don't know if I will get paid as my work is a bit funny about paying when ill.