Hi Peaches, I'm going to address your last post out of its original order:
Quote:
Originally Posted by peaches100
How do you stop doing something that you are doing unconsciously???
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It sounds to me as if you're phrasing your question so that it'll be unanswerable. How's about if I reword it a bit?
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Revised by Fool Zero
How do you stop doing something that you don't want to be doing?
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I'd recommend that you (a.) watch yourself doing it and (b.) share with your T what you notice yourself doing so that she can watch along with you and you can compare notes:
Quote:
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... it feels like we are replaying a continuous cycle (always the same) of 1. Tenatively testing trust, 2. Feeling more connected and being willing to share more, being vulnerable, 3. Getting hurt about something my t does or doesn't do, 4. Retreating/pushing away and putting my armor back up. 5. Talking it over/resolving it. Then back to number 1 again.
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You might also want to consider the (very strong) possibility that this is not really a circle as it appears to you, but a spiral -- your way of moving ahead. For instance, I suspect that you weren't ready to describe it as you just did after the first time you went through it. Maybe not even after the fifth time.
If the glass be half empty, you're
doing it unconsciously. If the glass be half full, you're
becoming conscious of doing it. It's your call, like it or not.
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It's disconcerting to think i may have a part of myself that is self-destructive and sabotaging like that.
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I'd say your choices are (a.) to stop thinking it; or if you find you you can't stop, then (b.) keep
noticing yourself thinking it and (c.) don't believe everything you think.