In my silent ramblings a thought I came to me - that the reason for low or no self esteem is because of being alone or being alone so much without any help or agreement; the reason for exclusion by others is fear of alignment with "loners" and the premise for cliques is to ensure not to be singled out and to have immediate emotional support. Generalizing cliques are afraid of self-reliance. Wow!

Where does that leave me? Just with the hope that I can stop feeling that there's something lacking in me as a loner.