Splitimage,

I to am sorry your having so much trouble!

I found my anger and something you and your T may could do this. See if your T has a wooden board and then buy a bag of the gray clay that has to stay wetish but has to stay in a tight container to keep from drying out. Have your T and you make balls about size of palm and then throw out your rage this will create exhausting but if you can imagine the sound the clay makes as it hits the board. As the clay almost flattens... then have T who are you mad at and at first you may not know and it may be hard for you to get into that rage... Hopefully your T will push the clay off the board because your throwing away your rage. It took me a bit to get mad enough, it sounds like your there.
Just an idea that worked for me...

Until we meet again..... stay safe! Yay for resisting the urge to hurt yourself YaY!!! Your new friend, ThaCrew