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I could enjoy the holidays with them, but it just depends on how they act and how I react. I know I'm the one with the major malfunction, being very sensitive about religious discussions and even some of that self-help books they read every once in awhile. I don't think the why aspect is important, I don't really care why it bothers me, and they shouldn't have to know either. Just that it is incredibly hurtful so they should stop....
basically these are the stages this has gone through in the past 1-2 years:
1.) Mild discomfort but It's bearable because hey, they are really happy.
2.) Really annoying
3. Really, really annoying
3.5.) coming to PC and asking for advice from some of the christian members in chat on how to tell them that they are bothering me and then being told that I have no right to
4.) Wanting to snap
5.) More of being infuriated
6.) FINALLY getting the courage to tell them it bothers me
7.) getting shot down in flames
8.) Feeling really, really hurt that they don't care
9.) Beginning to question if it's really my place to tell them what they can't talk about
10.) still angry, tell them again
11.) shot down some more, probably more then once
12.) Hurt that they didn't care and putting self down is replaced with disgust and anger that they don't care
13.) Eventually numbness as if a part of me realized how fruitless it all is, though still mildly angry, not nearly as much as it used to be
14.) Now
Funny thing is I don't mind it with other people, my other relatives on dad's side are very religious people, as well as my step-mom's parents, even one a former teacher in school... the difference being the attitude I think. They aren't "passionate" about it (quoting my mom, though I could think of a different adjective or two...) they don't act like they are better then you, they are just humble, nice people who just happen to be very spiritual.
As for asking them to not be so "passionate"- it isn't happening either. I never asked but seriously, it just isn't happening. It's like asking the sun not to be bright.
... and they wonder why I don't tell them anything anymore.
well guess what? I did that, multiple times, and every single time I just ended up getting more hurt.
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