{{{{{{{{Wendy}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

I am trying very hard not to vent here that much anymore. I just kind of exploded that day and couldn't do what I really wanted to do, so I typed.

I need him with Alex for now - Alex cares about his dad and I don't have to worry about paying for day care. He is cheaper, just the hassles are worse. No, he's not supportive, does indeed hurt me both physically and mentally, and makes me feel like a real loser most of the time. I don't know what happened to him - when we first met, he was so supportive and there for me. He is the one that gave me confidence in myself that I could achieve anything - and ironically enough, he is the one who is trying to tear it all down now. I think the new me back then made him insecure.

Yes, my mom is getting there. She has not gone outside of the house since the fall - she is not steady enough. I call at least every other day and ask - otherwise she would never tell me.

Tonight after my doc appt., they came back with me up here. My husband got the chance to check out my little home here and where I work (see, no one was under the bed....lol).

Where I work serves food, and has games for the kids. It is geared towards children, which I just love. When we went there, Alex went crazy.......his eyes lit up and all he wanted to do was get tokens to play the games and then turn them in for prizes. He had never been to this place before and we had sooo much fun together. My husband tried, and failed, to win alot of tickets so Alex and I scored 421 between us.

That boy was so excited - it was a joy to watch him and hear him keep yelling for me to come and watch and play with him. My husband just trailed behind. The manager on duty didn't charge me for our dinner plus gave us 100 tokens on the house to play with.

I ended up getting him a stuffed animal - the logo character of the restaurant - and paying the difference. When they left for home, Alex was curling up with his new "friend" and telling him about all the rest of our "pets" at home. I got a kiss from him and his animal. How I wanted to keep him here with me, but he is way too young and needs to go to school.

My husband got lost leaving, called me (my fault - poor directions), so I had to find him and get him on the right interstate. Alex zonked out fairly soon after that. Poor child, I introduced him to all the employees and wore him out.

Then since my husband made me so angry, I stopped and picked up some beer and wine coolers and here I sit - calming down..........[sigh].

Work wise, yes I do have potential - the efficient one takes very good care of that. The inner me is having fits because we haven't seen our T in awhile.

Take care, Wendy - you're the best.

xoxoxo

Mary Alice