Zooropa,

I'm so glad to hear that DBT was a helpful experience for you. I've heard many people say that DBT really made a huge difference for them in terms of healing. Maybe I ought to talk to my t about us going back to where we left off in the DBT book and continuing on. The reason we stopped going through the book was I think that one day, i became angry about something, was in my "child" mind, and called the DBT skills "stupid." I can't recall now what prompted my outburst, but i remember telling t afterwards that i was sorry and that i knew the skills were important and wanted to continue. Apparently, she must not have believed me.

Actually, now that i think back on it, i do remember what had happened! We had tried doing some trauma work, and i had gotten stuck in a flashback/child place, and t had said something to the effect of "access your adult self and your DBT skills to bring yourself out of it." Not exactly those words, but that was the implication. I remember feeling extremely frustrated because whenever i'd go into that flashback/child state, i wouldn't have any awareness of the adult side of me, or even be able to recall DBT skills to mind. And in trying to explain my frustration to my t, and explain why i could not bring myself out of the flashback state, I had called the DBT skills "stupid." Anyway, I wasn't really angry at the skills. I was angry at the fact that i was unable to access them when needed, and frustrated that i couldn't seem to make my t understand that i did not know "how" to be in my adult mind at the same time that i was in my child state.

Now, however, i've made a bit more progress in being able to hold both parts of me present at the same time, so accessing the DBT skills when i have a flashback/regression might work better for me. I'll talk with t about this.