View Single Post
 
Old Nov 25, 2009, 10:42 AM
mixedup_emotions's Avatar
mixedup_emotions mixedup_emotions is offline
Elder
 
Member Since: Feb 2009
Location: NJ
Posts: 7,326
Quote:
Originally Posted by hangingon View Post
TRIGGER WARNING >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>just in case

Deli,
I was thinking on the lines similar to what chaotic wrote that maybe it was to help you understand that it was the perp and his thinking that caused it and that it had nothing to do with you.

Chaotic,
I find myself struggling with something similar to your last statement of being in the wrong place at the wrong time. My T mentioned something about that but I still have a hard time believing that. I told my T that there is more to it, that it must be me something to do with with me. I was a really quiet sweet little girl. I feel like they took advantage of that, and the fact that my parents were so in their own world that the men involved knew that I was an easy target. If that were not the case, how could it have been three people at different times in my life when I was so young. I must have been an easy target.

Then there were things that almost happened even as a young adult as well, just walking down the road and being approached by men. I was almost grabbed into a car full of guys once, another time when I was walking to work a car pulled over with two men in and an one asked if I wanted to go have *** with him. I was totally shocked as I was not even dressed seductively. Another time I was in burger king and I looked over at a man only to see him doing something totally perverted while looking at me. No wonder I have a hard time trusting men.

I just don't get it, I have never ever been the flirty type and always kept myself covered up because of how I felt just because of things that happened when I was very young.
I don't know I still have a difficult time with all of this and feeling like there must be something wrong with me for these things to have happened, I mean how could I have really been in the wrong place at the wrong time that many times? Something about me must have made me an easy target.
I can totally relate to this...and my T told me that perps are very good at picking their targets...and that because of the childhood I endured, I was an easy target...Of course, I didn't know this at the time, but it just really confused me how all these horrible things could happen to me at different times of my life with different people. I am not ready to face the pain of those experiences, to learn from them, to handle what's unfinished....and I am NOT willing to accept that my parents - who I love so dearly - played a large role in that.
__________________
Don't follow the path that lies before you. Instead, veer from the path - and leave a trail...