while Im big on eyes...I love them,think they're beautiful...and say so much....it's something I can't give . Its ok with aperfect stranger that I dont feel intimidated with...the hardest in personal relationships. ANy suggestions? Is it because of the closeness? Is it a trust issue...is it an extension of that "Wall" of protection? I understand alot of it....but when you are close to someone...shouldnt it get easier? I do notice its mostly when I feel bad....or feel Ive disappointed someone...or feel hurt...Im sure that makes sense...but what does it take to have the "confidence"(for lack of a better word) to be able to do that. I find it virtually physically impossible...Ive actually tried to "Make" myself do it because it was important to the other person. Is my self esteem that bad? DO I lack that much confidence?Am I that insecure no matter whatt? I knwo all the incidents in my life that have led to alot of self esteem issues....and I know I have them. This person has told me many times it makes them feel disrespected...unworthy of it....I guard my eyes with a passion...though I , as I said, love eys...they are the windows to the soul...and I dotn think i have a bad soul so what gives???
Thsi has caused me alot of pain in my life....andi if anyone else has had or has this problem Id love some input or suggestions.
I once had a therapist that made me stand in front of a mirror...look at myself...and repeat these self accolades that were written on paper. I couldnt do it...I could stand at a mirro...I could say them...but Ill be damned if I would grab the eyes and hold it...no way.
Sorry this is a long post....but its important to me and Im curious what anyone else can input.
ALways, Serenity