Hi kacey321,

I've been through it once before (relationship from the age of 16-22) and know that what I'm feeling is normal and that EVENTUALLY most of the hurt goes away. I moved on, had a wonderful re-bound relationship which a wonderful caring man but I just couldn't love him...I was clear about this from the start with him so it wasn't a great shock when I finally broke up with him tho he did get hurt which I hate myself for.
When I started dating Mark I was in it for a 'fling' he made the steps to turning it into a relationahip. He knew that I had been hurt before and I don't think his intentions were ever to hurt me this way. He's done more soul searching and crying about this than I think I have - which is quite a lot LOL.
Last night was the first night that I didn't txt him goodnight. It was SO hard..and I didn't sleep very well thinking about it.
I have arranged a solicitor to do all the house paperwork (easier and I don't have to think so much about it if it's in someone elses hands). I did let Mark know that I had to go up to the house (this was in the afternoon) to get the house paperwork from when we bought it. I kept the conversation to just that. He said no worries and I said 'good, bye then'
I know that moving on is the only way to move forward. Can't say that I don't still HOPE that something will change and he will begin to love me again (chances are super slim). I'm hoping that by me taking a step back and not 'smothering' him with emails, txt etc he will start to think about me in a different light... It's not going to work I know but I think you know how I feel?
I have to keep some sort of contact with him until he moves out of the house and it's all settled - This is the hardest part because I seem to make excuses to txt, email, talk etc. I don't want to be this kind of person.

As for the friendship he seems to want to have with me now - I don't know/think it will work but after being friends before becoming a couple I'd like to give it my best shot I guess...

I'm so sorry that you have been going thro this for such a long time. You will find someone out there that loves you for who you are. I know it for myself but like you I can't think of moving on with out feeling physically ill.