Quote:
Originally Posted by BlueMoon6
I want to tell you, I dissociate in the same way, when I was reading this, I was right there with you. I lose my words, I havent heard anybody post about it. I do that in session and at home. I lose my words and dont know what I was saying or where I am excpet I then know I was probalby saying something. I feel like I am underwater or its like looking through a foggy window far away. That is when I realize I got lost.
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yeah, I didn't even know for the longest time that that was dissociating until I started reading about it here and then asked my T about it, but yeah. My mind will go blank, and I just...lose my words. I used to just get so frustrated in session when that would happen and I'd say "I don't know" all the time, and T was getting frustrated for a long time, too, I remember after our first couple of sessions she said to me once "I don't have time for 'I don't know' ".
Now I know that the reason I don't know is that my mind went blank because I'm dissociating, and she knows that too, but it was hard figuring that all out.
thanks, you guys, for your support, it was so great to come here and read your messages.
Today has been really hard, I'm just overwhelmed with memories & flashbacks & emotions and...ugh. I'm crying & having panic attacks just not in a good place at all. Wondering how I'm going to put on a happy face to spend the day with my kids tomorrow, which I have really been looking forward to.
I feel like I can't call T tomorrow, because of the holiday, she didn't say that but I would feel really really bad calling her at home (or wherever she is...) on thanksgiving.
So between my PTSD symptoms being almost out of control, worrying about having to act happy and "normal" for my kids, and feeling like I can't contact T for support, I'm just pretty miserable and freaked out right now. It's 2am and I slept for a couple of hours but the nightmares were so bad it's not worth trying anymore.