Ugh. (((((((((((((((Blue Moon))))))))))))))))
Sounds overwhelming.
I wish I had some really good advice for you.
I know how you're feeling. I have SO been in that place before.
And I know how useless and frustrating it feels to try anything, and to hear any advice from anyone who isn't in the same place.
So here are some hugs.....,
and letting you know you are not alone.
Keep going and keep trying....it will be worth it in the end.