Hi, friends,

I've done an inventory of my whole life of attempts at relationships with men, from high school onward, and it's all pretty much ranging from dysfunctional to disastrous! Counting them all up, besides my marriage of 20 years, there are at least 16, all ending unhappily, except for the high school sweetheart with whom I still correspond. Doesn't that seem like too many, or at least a lot? They all ended unhappily, either by my hurting them or them hurting me.

I recount long, long periods of recovery from many of them, including this last one about which I came here initially and posted.

I am thinking maybe it's time to give it up. At one point, when I shared with my elderly mother that I had met a man, she stated, "You're a 53 year old woman! What do you thing you're doing?" I'm beginning to think she is right!

My nature really has been to be kind, affectionate, loyal and generous to a fault, completely devoted. Each failure has devastated me, particularly this last one.
Do I sound like a floozy?

I'm beginning to think I need to build a shell of indifference around myself and remain solitary. I did so for three years prior to this last attempt. Feeling brave once again, I ventured out, only to experience extreme heartache.

Is my history unique? Are there others here who have tried as much as I?

Seeker