It's the same every year. Well for the last 6-7 years anyway. See before my mom died my family always had big celebrations for holidays and birthdays. I have 12 aunts and uncles and about 25 cousins thts not counting the cousin's kids. Every time someone would have a birthday or graduation or just to even have a cookout we would go all out. It would take days to prepare for. Now since mom died, no one does anything. When they do I am not invited to it. Or told about it. So I tried to start going to my inlaws. They're nice people but we have'nt always gotten along. They used to hate me, call me names and threaten to take my child away. So I'll go over there but then I get very uncomfortable and paniky and leave. And spend Thanksgiving and other holidays alone. This is sooo depressing. I hate watching T.V. and seeing the commercails where the family is sitting around a big table laughing and crap. I used to have a family like that. It makes me sad. I hate being alone when everbody else is enjoying their family. Ugh sorry for the pity party y'all
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Dx: PTSD, Panic Disorder, Obsessive Personality Disorder.
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