Seeker,

Gosh, you have certainly been honest with us, which has to be a good thing.

I, for one, don't believe that we have to continue with destructive patterns until our dying day, although some people do this. Patterns can be changed; recognised and then changed.

IMHO the desire to give up, and pull the shutters closed, is a depressive reaction, quite understandable but depressive.

Have you thought about what you really want from a relationship with a man? I have noticed that most new relationships go wrong through the expectations of those concerned. The more we think 'finally, this relationship will put everything right', the more pressure we are putting on ourselves (I'm not saying that you do this, only that some people do it).

Starting a friendship with a clean slate and no expectations gives the new friendship a great chance of success. So I would say - stay in the game, and let things happen. But, whatever you do, don't think of a new male friend as the next one on the list.

I have taken advice from you and others here on PC, and when my pattern kicks in I will remember you folks and change direction. I think it takes a lot of discipline, but it's not impossible, otherwise we would all be robots!

Positive thoughts, M