Personal Opinion: Here is THE place for no-shame pity parties.

Thunderbear: Now since mom died, no one does anything. When they do [Who's "they?" Every one of those aunts, uncles and cousins?] I am not invited to it. Or told about it. [Is it possible at least a few others of those aunts, uncles and cousins are also left out? Can you find out? Could you link up with them?]

Sounds like your mom was the hub holding the wheel together. Is the whole wheel gone now, or are several smaller wheels coming together?